tuesday's 13

Here is a list of 13 things I am hating today

1. e-tax form


2. hsbc bank


3. NSW BB


4. the news on T.V


5. my procrastination


6. cold weather


7. tremors


8. nausea


9. food abusive macrobiotic freaks


10. nike


11. star bucks


12. people with no good manners


13. solitude

all welcome to add to the list.

yummy salad

2 of my favourite salads:

1. roquett with pear, walnuts and shaved parmesan.

2. roquett with cherry tomatoes, pinenuts, lemon juice, olive oil, hemp seed oil and shaved parmesan.

just delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great wine: Maison Champy - Bourgogne Pinot noir. Those frogs really know how to make a great wine! Try it peoples, it is really good or if you prefer Australian wine go for the Cold Streams Pinot noir, also great.

cheesy songs

Here I am sitting at home the whole weekend listening to horrible songs, my music collection sux!!! the radio sux!!! I need new cds.

I am getting a bit anxious about my impending trip to Europe, it will be great but it will be exahusting. i really miss my mum but I am scared to see her again after 2 years.

TV blows!
I'm sooooooooooooo bored, I don't know what else to do. I can't concentrate to read, I'm bored............................................................................................................................................................................ ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... .........................................................................................................................................................................

a lot less hyper

boooooooring!

I am way less manic this time, I really miss the whole feeling of not caring about anything and being invinsible!!! - Alas! it only lasts for so long and the come down is not nice at all and a lot longer lasting.
At least now I have reduced the medication by 1/3 so I am in the road to recovery or so I wish to believe. Doctor 'no-idea' wants me to go on lithium, I don't really want to, I can see the advantages of stabilizing my mood, however I can also find lots of reasons why not to take it. This is very hard indeed, on one hand there are great benefits yet in the other the risk is very big so at the moment I have decided against it. I will keep on working hard towards being healthy and depression free by doing all I can do except for taking lithium - at least for the time being.

I am so close to going to Spain, oh my god!!!!!

dear phar lap

I wish I was a good girl, I wish I was able to say I was in love with you - but I am not...
The truth is: I do love your ck, but as far as loving you, I am affraid to say I didn't have the chance to feel 'the feeling' if you follow me...
I'd have loved to fall for you but you never made me feel safe, you never let me fell like I could trust you, and yes, it is absolutely true, we enjoyed each other - and true - we do not love each other beyond friends.
Perhaps this will come as a horrible offence to some people and yet this is who I am: I just want to find someone to have great sex with. i will fall inlove again, but I do not know when or who with, the fact is: I love sex, I want to have someone who wants to fuck me day and night and in between, and also someone who loves me enough to let me be myself.

to commemorate my 30th

Today I am 30...

Today I am 30

Finally.

Finally.

30 is my ticket.

30 is what I've been waiting for.
30 is a cloak of confidence

I get to wear for the rest of my life...

30 is the pair of 3-D glasses

that allows me to see

beyond the omnipresent

apathy of those who

surround me.

It's freedom.

It's legitimacy....

I'm not married.

I don't have a baby.

I hear no ticking clock.

I've been digital since 1984.

All those things that I was supposed

to accomplish by the time I was 30

are not accomplished.

So I no longer have to worry

about the agenda someone else handed to me.

I'm no longer on any agenda.

Today I am 30

and the only responsibility I have

is myself.

My sanity.

My integrity.

My health.

My peace of mind.

My acute and unerring perceptions.

An enormous responsibility to be sure,

but mine and mine alone.

I am a fully responsible adult.

Because today I am 30.

Not a bad place to be actually.

After all, how many people can say:

Today I am 30 and

today I am free.

Adapted from Anita Liberty's 'How to Heal the Hurt by Hating'.

shock horror!!!!!

Shit!!! I had the most horrible dream, I was 30!

Hang on a minute, I am 30!!!, Oh god! How did this happen????, OK, no need to panic, I can still feel my legs, my arms are OK, and my head - oh my head! I can definitely feel it... Shit I had too much to drink again...

Fuck! I am really 30!!!!!!!! - oh well, I might as well enjoy the ride, why not?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes, the memories flood back, I had my birthday party and drank lost and lots and lots and lots of champagne (champagnoise more like it...), hence the headache, the vague recollections of night of debauchery except I ended up alone in my bed - as usual says my head - fuck! I wish I had had great sex to mark my entrance into the 4th decade of my life....
Dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, v dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty, dirty thirty,

Let us hope they really are as dirty as they say......


oh my, I look fabulous!