Thursday 10 May 2007

crawling out of the abyss


Near one month has passed and I just couldn't be bothered to write in this blog, it is nothing personal, I was just going through a lazy phase.


I am feeling stronger, life is getting better, my lil' ole heart is mending and I seem to be responding better to both therapy and medication, even seem more optimistic - according to me...

anyway!


(me gustaria tenerte en mis brazos y darte todo mi corazon y mi amor, pero la vida no es como uno quiere y ahora estoy aqui, sigo aqui; sola, esperando que alguien sea capaz de ver dentro de mi corazon y descubra que yo de verdad que valgo la pena, si me hubieses dado la oprtunidad de hacerte feliz todo seria mucho mejor, que dolor y que pena tan grande! La soledad es una hija de puta!)


Never mind the interlude, I (sometimes) need to express myself in other languages, but that is just me.

Work is getting slowly more comfortable and, at the same time more and more boring and annoying, I really want to go away and do something different, something more meaningful and fulfilling but at the time I am in no position to quit - that sucks!

I will be travelling soon, next August, that should make me feel better. I will be going to parts of the world I have never been to before - probably should be very excited about it but the truth is I am not really sure the energy is quite there yet but I sure will be happier about it once I get on that plane.


Listening to Both sides now by Joni Mitchell, love that song! the newer version is the best...


Rows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air. And feather canyons ev'rywhere, I've looked at clouds that way. But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on ev'ryone. So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way. I've looked at clouds from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's cloud illusions I recall. I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel. As ev'ry fairy tales comes real, I've looked at love that way. But now is just another show, you leave'em laughing when you go. And if you care don't let them know, don't give yourself away. I've looked at love from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "I love you" right out loud. Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way. But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads they say I've changed. Well something's lost and something's gained in living ev'ry day. I've looked at life from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all.

I've looked at life from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow it's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all.


I'm going to bed now and hope I will get some sleep, work tomorrow, just like any other day...