Monday 4 August 2008

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Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow morning early enough to to the gym.
Yesterday was such a nice day, I went walking along the bay and saw so many beautiful doggies! Work has been such a bitch, dragon-lady keeps making every one's life such a drag. She constantly has this face all wrinkled with her lips tightly pursed in such disapproving contempt, she truly has a cat's-bum-face.

I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I come to work in reasonably good spirits and sure enough she will find an excuse to be so passive-aggressive is not funny, last week was my near over-dose with medication ( hence I was 2 1/2 days away from work) - no, this time was totally unintentional, I did not try to over-dose by myself, the psychiatrist prescribed some zanax to try and stop the manic state I was into but we didn't think I was going to react so badly to it, in any case, I am never taking zanax again, that stuff is truly evil!
O.K. back to my bitching about dragon-lady, today she wasn't happy I did the late shift because I thought Caz would leave early, and then I dared saying the radio station we were listening to really sucked, she took that as personal offence, then I took a slightly longer lunch because I had to go to the chemist, so by the time I came back she was absolutely furious and yet all she did was act like a drama queen and only walk around muttering 'this is such a hard life, such a rough world, nobody cares about me and I can never get away with stuff like...'

Then naturally something else had to go astray in the comedy of errors that the shop seems to be: one of the computers wasn't working, so here I go trying to untangle all the different cables under the counter and trying this and that to no avail, until finally I fixed it but not without getting another tongue lashing and yet another reminder of how fucking horrible it must be to be old, alone and pissed off with the world - but that has been her own choice, she made it, now she has to cope it.

I do feel for her, I know what loneliness is, I know about sadness and pain, and wrong choices, but I truly never want to end up so angry at the world and make everyone believe (especially myself) that I have been hard done by life.
Just like the song says "I get knocked down, but I get up again"