Saturday, 3 March 2007


What do you get when you cross a platypus and an orangutan?????? I reckon that's why it could never work, I am a platypus, therefore I must find another one of my own kind to go forth and reproduce; only problem is - i really want the orangutan.

Please send your insights to my email. Post a comment.

Friday, 2 March 2007

fly away

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Is time to change and leave the sadness and the loneliness behind and I will do what it takes.I don't want to go back to ward 26.

I have decided to start dating again, just like the saying goes: you have to get back on the horse... Too soon? I don't think so, I don't really care. I don't want to be alone and the only way for me to forget him and get back on track and reclaim my heart is by looking to new horizons. Who knows? maybe I will find a great man and if not then at least I will have lots of fun in my search for somebody to love me back.

No more puffy eyes, enough tears, enough suffering, enough sleepless nights, bring on the happiness and the joy. I have all going for me.

Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Next time

I'm out of hospital again. Thank god for modern drug therapy (I mean it).

This time at least I didn't end up in ward 26, oh no, this time I was in ward 4 east at CRH, the surgical ward because of a very bad throat infection. The diagnosis was initially tonsilar Quincy, then peritonsilar cellulitis, then dunno?, then a ruptured tonsilar abscess (Quincy). I must say the pain is exquisite (which in medical terms stands for fucking bad!!!).

The morphine was maxed up and yet the pain receptors in the tonsils do not respond to opiates, so the drug barely takes the edge off and makes you very dumb but the pain is still there, I was unable to swallow even my own saliva, let alone drink, eat or talk. Not a pretty sight.

Drooling is so uncool once you have stopped teething...

If you don't drink you naturally dehydrate and then your veins collapse, so there is not much room for the medics to insert cannulas to pump you full with IV fluids, antibiotics, steroids, and pain killers, in my short (or long) stay I managed to collect 16 puncture sites (the number of attempts to insert new cannulas in my arms) which I now wear proudly. My hands are still a bit sore from the fluids, etc but the bruises are mainly internal so not too ugly.

Oral thrush is very uncool...

There's nothing like physical pain to put things into perspective, however, my depression is not improving because the drugs that I so much need clash with the drugs that saved my life so it will be a long road to get back the levels where they must be. I really want to get better and I am prepared to do whatever it takes, after all, that is the choice I made when I went into hospital the first time, I am not going to kill myself even if that is what seems to be the easier way out. I still feel like falling asleep and not waking up again.
I still have a lot of work to do...

I am not planning on going back to hospital ever again (maybe when I have a baby) but if it was to happen again I would definitely take a number of things with me like pyjamas, my tooth brush, fresh fruit, a neck pillow, clean nickers, a comb, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, Kleenex toilet paper, lip balm, and before going in I would go for a Brazilian wax. iPod is optional.

Nurses rock! even if sometimes they get all flustered and get mixed up and very nearly administered me penicillin, the one drug I had an alert bracelet for...

Friends are the most important part of getting better. Love you all, thank you so much for picking up the pieces yet again.