Anniversary

The first anniversary has come to pass, that intense week at the end of August when Simon died, the weeks after until 12September the funeral and then I am expected to be ready to "move on" and "let it go", well, I can't, I don't want to, I don't even know how to do that.

Every night my heart aches for his love, my body longs for his hands, for his lips, for his kisses. I miss his voice and his laughter, hi shyness, I miss my best friend talking to me. We were never people of words but we always showed our love with deeds, I would cook a nice meal, he would clean, 

I miss you so much Simon my darling, I'm aching for your love.

Please come to me in my dreams and let me show you the love I've kept for you. Please come

My beautiful Simon

I am bereft, heartbroken, destroyed. 

My love is dead. My beautiful man decided to end his suffering and go back to the loving kindness of the universe. I know his pain has ended. He lived a rich, full, complicated life, I know he enjoyed many happy moments and he fulfilled his dream of being a great helicopter pilot. 

There was much adversity on his life and much sadness and loneliness but he enjoyed a blessed childhood, a loving family, and he was loved beyond limits by myself and others. 

He conducted himself with honesty and dignity, he fought his pains and his demons with such courage and grace until the end. He was a true gentleman. 

I shall forever miss his love, his smile, his beautiful eyes. 

He was the one who truly knew me and accepted the deeply flawed person that I am without conditions or reservations. 

I know he loved me. 

Farewell my love until we meet again. 

Xxxxxx