wot?!!!

So, here I am again

Well over 1 month, yes I have been up and down and quite frankly I couldn't be bothered with it. Life is still a roller coaster, the ups are great and the downs are hair raising and yet I prevail.
Looking for a new job, still nothing.
I would love to go away but can't afford it yet - but soon I will be able to do what I please (whatever that is).

Pharlap and I are still going, wow! it's been one year already, who would have thought? He is sweet and at times a complete tool but he is who he is and yes, I love him just because he is well, Pharlap. I never thought I had a thing for older men but it turns out I do, and it's cool by me.

The new drug to be commenced in a couple of weeks is Lithium - lots of side effects and yet this could be the very first time I ever get to experience the mediocre middle, not up, not down, not on the way there, just plain and even. I am scared shit-less and at the same time I am quite curious about it but if this can be the way for me to not have mood swings I am willing to give it a fair go - I do want to know what is "normal life" according to the establishment. After all, the one thing I know how to do is to SURVIVE.

I learnt that there are 3 different types of bipolar disorder, who would have thought! I have BiPD2 with melancholic depression, so, the stay in ward26 was diagnosed as double depression however now it has been revised as a depressive episode aggravated by environmental and social circumstances, I hate to get these little updates by mail. The next step is for me to have a full medical and then once I commence Lithium therapy I will be having a needle every 2 weeks just to make sure I am OK, I will not be allowed to do lots of things including heavy exercise or a reduction in salt intake or ever heavy perspiration - life is looking like it will be heavily regimented for me - I only hope I can cope

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Still riding the roller coaster that is my life...
I like Pure Blonde beer
and Lindt dark chocolate with cherry
my favourite meal at the moment is a huge bowl of green salad with slice of grilled haloumi on top
lime zest aioli and hot chips
capers
organic beef sausages
watermelon
home made pizza
tempura soft shell crab
hemp seed oil, ume vinegar, umeboshi puree, capers, sesame seeds and lemon juice salad dressing

it has finally happened

I have officially become a complete BORE!
I'm bored at work, i get bored going to and from work, I find televison boring, I lose concentration when trying to read because I find it a bit boring, newspapers are very boring, fashion magazines are B_O_R_I_N_G!
IKU food is so plain and boring, Roman numerals are boring, people with constipation who want me to know about it annoy me.
All thi whinging and bitching about life sucks but I really feel like giving it a good go!

mmmmmmmmmm pancakes

I'm back in Sydney, back at work and disliking it as much as ever.
Being 'on the level' is a weird feeling, I've been 'normal' for a long time already, I can't say I miss the sad me, the depressed me, but somehow I miss the hypomanic me a little eventhough that feeling is more and more distant and the body memory of the hyper states is fading away...

Life is good

Happy happy joy joy

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want 2008 to be a better, happier, healthier, lovelier year.
I am content being by myself, this is the way it was meant to be, I am well and getting better everyday.
I want to move to Port Douglas by July and begin a new life here with the fish, the turtles and the reef, I am inlove with the place...

the wet is here

Finally, the rain has come...
Everything is so shinny and clean, all the plants glow happy and the birds are going loudly insane, just like the frogs - noisy little fuckers all of them! but God loves'em, I love them, this place is utter bliss and indeed paradise to me.
The mood is going a bit funny but will go to visit the local medic and see what can be done - silly me I don't have enough meds to last me until the end of my stay I can see them on top of my table back at home, I just forgot to put them in my bag - what a silly cow!
The people here is so friendly and I feel just at home, I've been dreaming about the turtles and the pretty fish on the reef - oh what a wonderful world....