K is for Krazy

Seoul is a crazy place!
People will push you out of their way, men spit on the street, burping, farting, slurping your food, sneezing without covering your mouth, it is all allowed - and almost expected - to be done at the table or anywhere you feel like it.
Motorbikes drive on the footpath, against the traffic and the rider will seldom clap his hands to let you know he is coming through (beeping is even less popular), so better get out of the way. Women are naturally gracious and the children are mostly very cute. Every where you look there are teddy bears telling you to buy stuff with lots of sparkles and funny music - annoying music. The newest fad cartoon is 'happy panda' who claims to be 'your alter ego' and talks about 'challenges' even though I didn't quite get what the challenge was all about other than to understand whatever the creators of the panda meant. A happy panda t-shirt read: "Happy Panda. I am your Alter Ego. Follow me. Conquer. Challenge - (some Chinese characters) Let's have happy day" I didn't buy it but I really wanted it, alas! the bloody Koreans are soooooooooo petite I looked big and fat next to them (!!).
The smell of the city was a horrible mix of Kimchi, pickled vegetables, rotten fruits, human waste and sweat.
It is a nice city despite all of my initial shock as I didn't expect it to be so crowded and dirty. Lovely temples, palaces and parks, with lots of museums and things to do if you feel like doing stuff - I didn't, I was tired and the humid heat doesn't help (about 38C) but I have walked a lot and seen temples and palaces and sat in lovely parks and I even managed to master the greetings and thank you, and how to get a subway ticket and order food without an English menu, if I ate dog only time will tell, I hope I didn't...

letting go

Dearest .....,
I went to Montserrat and stayed at the Abbey, is such a wonderful place but my reason for going was merely to leave you there, I no longer carry the pain you caused in my heart, I dropped your memory down the cliff. I had the choice of dropping myself or your memory and I chose the latter, I feel better because of it. It wasn´t so easy to let go but finally, I did it, it was time. Enough is enough.
Love you dearly but I am over it now, no more!
Not inlove, not in pain, not so sad, alone but not so lonely, I feel good.

pues nada...

Here I am posting a litle nonsense from Barcelona, I´m having a very good time staying in the dodgiest part of town, the place where i´m staying is just accross the road from this cool pub where you pour your beer from your very own tap on your table!!!!! Is that cool or what?!!! Will stay here until monday morning and then head back to Madrid to meet up with mum and aunty, hope all goes well.
pues nada, que ¡¡¡¡¡viva España!!!!!

I pitty the fool...

OK here's the deals, I went to this party last night, it was at the bank hotel in nutown and I hadn't been there since long before they did the whole place up, so I found that the place is very sleek and cool but where did all the 'metro-lesbians' go? All I could see was hoards of thirty-somethings trying to look 'noice' and sophisticated. Booooooooring.....

Wow, talk about incestuous gatherings... most people at the party was somehow connected to () and it was very hard for me to be there, it was a very hard reminder of what never was. It is not like they were close friends to () but six degrees of separation came pretty close to be just 3...

I am not in love with () anymore but I am not over him either, it will take a long time for my heart to heal, sorry if you are reading this and it upsets you, truth is I am not over you, it was a very big disappointment and a major blow for me, so forgive me for being selfish and admitting for the first time in my life that I am not copping, it is still too painful and remarkably sad, my heart is still broken in a million pieces and I am not sure I will ever be able to put it back together

time goes so fast

I am feeling so unattractive today, I feel fat, sad, jaded and so over everything...

Need a new job, want more money, want a loving partner, want to have a puppy dog. I'm bored out of my brain...................................................................................
Oh and silly me decided to eat Chinese for dinner, now I feel so bloated and sluggish, hormones suck big time!!!! Had a date that was cancelled without a good reason, men suck!
Where do you go to find love???? - I received a post card from my local uniting church with that question, if they don't know where to go, what hope do I have to find love then??

I just thought the post card was a funny thing to publish here, I don't care where to go, all I want is to be happy. I'm about to go, and I'm not sure if I will continue to post here during my trip, only time will tell.......

be careful of what you wish for...

this is a list I wrote not too long ago asking the universe for the things I want, some of them came true and fell apart, some I'm still waiting for to happen and some I suppose will never come to be...

• I want lots of healthy, happy charisma in my relationships


• I want to easily find myself releasing old 'baggage' from my childhood and all previous relationships


• I want the habit of constantly creating stress and crisis in my life totally lifted from me


• I want to find myself expressing my intensity in ways that are not threatening to others


• I want to easily find myself noticing the intensity of others without taking it personally


• I want the fear of commitment lifted from me


• I want to recognize, attract, and experience a happy soul-mate relationship


• I want the fear of abandonment totally lifted from me


• I want to easily find myself consciously suspending judgement of self and others


• I want to easily find myself appreciating the beauty of nature and the beauty of life


• I want to experience the freedom of enjoyment of living my life


• I want to easily find myself obeying my conscience, leading to peace of mind


• I want the habit of being blunt easily lifted from me


• I want the tendency to excess and overloading things totally lifted from me

Some are in the way of happening, so here's hoping that one day most of my list - if not all - will be fulfilled.

beautiful things