all fuzzy around the edges

I'm still feeling so numb, I still don't understand why someone would use such an excuse, why would someone lie about something like that, how could one pretend as if everything was the just as normal? I can't get my head around it.
I don't want to stop trusting in people, I still believe that everyone is inherently good natured, kind and loving; I refuse to believe this is not true at all. I believe circumstances make people act mean and be unkind, and yet, why?
Why do I still love like a child and then my trust and my love get abused and my heart gets shattered? This time was a different kind of broken heart, it was a profound disappointment to know the truth (even though this truth has helped me to move away).
Still, in the back of my mind I worry about your mental health, why did you not seem to understand what I was telling you - it was clear as the day? Were you just acting? You have been caught with your pants down, just own up to it!
Just tell the truth for once!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop telling lies and face the reality of it all, you are old enough to know that what you have done was wrong in many levels, it was not only abusing my trust and taking advantage of my friendship and the fact that I was always kind to you, it was also the fact that you used your own deceased father as an excuse, you kept him 'alive' just for your convenience, three months of lies!
Were you just after pity? Did you want sympathy?
Now all I feel for you is disappointment, and it hurts so much, it really makes me sad.

I really trusted you. You just managed to further break my heart - when you lose a love is hard, when your lover goes is so painful, but when your friend shows you how they deceived you, it is just plain desolation..
.