Sunday, 5 August 2012


So, after many years living with pain I have been diagnosed with Polymyositis (PM), an autoimmune condition that affects connective tissue, primarily muscles. Not jolly good news really. Learning that one has a chronic, progressive and degenerative, disabling disease is a hard thing to process. It started in my hips and thighs, down to my legs and now it has started to affect my shoulder girdles and arms, the pain is exquisite which in in medical terms means absolutely awful. The treatment is slow acting and the side effects of the meds are very bad, at the very least uncomfortable, in the worst case scenario can be fatal - oh the joy of being your own medical research Guinea pig. All truth be told, I don't want to take pain killers, I don't want to have to 'learn to live with pain', I just want for it to go away, I want to be healthy and not have to think what is going to happen when I cannot move my arms and I won't be able to feed myself, or swallow or even breath unassisted... I am sad indeed and exhausted.

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