Monday, 26 March 2007

I am what I am

It feels so strange

How do you know when you have fallen out of love?, I mean, How do you know for sure? All I know is that that awesome feeling I had before is not there anymore, but also that horrible sadness of a broken heart seems more and more distant. It was only a short time ago that all I could feel was utter desolation and now it all seems as if it was a bad dream, I am so much better now, I feel less sad everyday, perhaps the medication and all my efforts are finally working.

My heart belongs to me only once again, no more tears, no more puffy eyes. I can only wonder for how long will I stay in this transitional state, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not happy either, I just am.

...... said "now we're even" - it is not about revenge, life is just the way life is. "Mud wrapped in gold" - whatever happened is now in the past, one cannot rule one's heart, one cannot rule one's feelings, regardless of those actions I can see .... beauty, I can see the wonderful person inside. I never thought (not only for one minute) that anything was done with a bad intention, I know there was no malice and no harm intended, it was all a dream.

Now I need to figure out what is it that I want to do. Where ever I decide to go from here I know I will have fun. If you don't know where you're going you can never get lost...

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