Struggle

It is very hard just to stay alive at the moment, the thoughts, the temptation, the desire to end it all are so overwhelmingly strong. 

My head is full of noise, I cannot sleep, my body is exhausted, there's no rest, no respite. I haven't been able to eat for weeks and now even liquid is hard to keep down. 

I feel like I have reached the end of my strength, I am broken, empty, I have no more to give to this struggle. 

I'm tired of fighting, I just want to lay down and die, just drop on the floor and will my body to stop breathing, convince my soul to leave my body and go back to the eternal light where Simon is waiting for me. 

I have nothing left.