Here I am again, same old story, chronic pain is there although I did try a new med for it which seemed so promising except all I got was the very bad side effects so I had to can it and I'm now back to the beginning.
Same old shit from the dr: 'oh but you're so young, we should only be giving you these meds when you're very old'
What are the chances of me getting old? Not many, as to the chances for me becoming very old - zip.
I wish I could invent a machine that could make me feel less detached. I can't feel anything.
I know rationally I 'love' my family and friends but I just don't feel it.
I thought my latest attempt at taking antidepressants would help but a year later and a rather serious case of SSRI toxicity I am yet again not medicated for my stupid melancholic depression.
How I make it day after day is beyond me. This isn't life, it's not dignified, it's not even acceptable, and yet it is, sadly, my reality.
Mother said all I need is {_}, no mother dearest, what I need is my brain to work properly and produce enough neurochemicals to keep me well.
My pain is so bad I can't even cry.
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