the bright side of life

I am feeling much better than on my last post, it turned out to be a bad side effect from a combination of nortryptilline and venlafaxine. The latter of which I am now free of, today was my last day on that particular med and although I'm feeling a bit sick physically my mood is better, not suicidal any more, not so teary.
This holiday just sneaked up on me, is the holidays that make me feel the loneliest, at least I am in hospital so if I feel like a good cry there is staff at hand to talk things through with them, they have been really nice to me on this stay.
I ate too much chocolate yesterday - hence the mad headache and the funny belly.
I am feeling better.

another downer

Another day, a down day. I'm once again under the influence of the black dog. These swings are exhausting, one minute up, then down, then side to side, this roller coaster ner ends.
I'm tired of it, I just want it to stop, I want to sleep
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Im back in the bin again, there goes my 6 month 'bullet proof' plan.
I was feeling really bad yesterday and today is like I am another person, now i really think i am going nuts!

two words

If Only...

new home

I'm still kind of homeless even though I'm paying rent, my current dwelling is nice and my flatmates are lovely people, we a happy family...
I miss having my own place and having all my stuff, I miss my bed and having the freedom of coming and going when I please without having to give accounts of my where abouts, living alone suits me better but for the time being I will have to stay put where I am and wait until I find affordable accommodation on my own.

I might start looking for a job and hopefully I will be able to work 2 days a week and 1 day volunteering at the school, I love my gardening days.

I am still very brittle

time

Time is critical, I only have 5b minutes to write something meaningful but my brain is frozen...
miss ..... a lot today

great day

Despite the rain I had an awesome day at work, love gardening.